Why Forget/Forgive...

I have never understood why people say that a person who has a liking or was in a relationship with someone at some point of time can never end up becoming good friends. A few days ago one of my friend told me that if I can be in a comfortable position with such a person, then I am a great man as he just cant bear the presence of a person with whom he has broken up. Well I know my strength and that’s in forgetting the past and moving on. And I guess its my misfortune that none of my friends has ever understood my nature in this front. Forgiving or forgetting the past has helped me in moving forward in life. Like every other human being I also have my ups and downs in life. And yes I too have mood swings. But I guess I have the quality of over things quickly – whether good or bad. Yes I do get overexcited and also get irritated easily but that’s only for a short period of time. I just cant have a conflict lasting long as such a fight or anger haunts me more than anything.

It all began  when I was about to start my MBA from IIPM. IIPM Delhi is around 34km from my house and it takes around 1.5 to 2 hrs to reach there. So going alone in my car all the way was boring as well as idiotic b’coz it would cost a lot. So I started searching for people who got admission into IIPM and stayed near my house.  Orkut really helped me here. I joined the 2007 FW IIPM batch community on Orkut and through this I met her. She was also searching for someone from my area who would be willing to pool in. There were also few other people I found who were ready for the same. So we all decided to meet up at Crossriver mall. I was the first to reach the meeting venue and slowly people started turning up. Suddenly my eyes went on one girl who was coming towards us. She was wearing a t shirt , jeans and shades on her hair. Her first looks for me were mesmerizing and I was just awestruck by her looks. As she was approaching to our small group, a thought ran into my mind that this time I am not going to make the same mistake like one I made in 11^th grade. And so when she came nearer, I was the first one to get up and greet her. We had a little conversation and then a discussion started in the group regarding our traveling. After about an hour when we had reached to a conclusion regarding how we are gonna commute, it was decided that she and two other girls would commute with me in my car and the rest in another car. And then almost everyone left except her and one another girl and ofcourse me. We went to CCD and ordered our respective drinks. We had a good hearty chat about life, boyfriends/Girlfriends, academics etc.  it was one of the very exciting moment for me as she was finding talking with me comfortable and enjoyable. And in this excitement I did one idiotic thing! The bill was CCD was given to me and I paid it in 3 hundred Rs notes. The waiter brought me balance of Rs 50 and said something which I understood differently. He told me that he needed Rs 12 change and I replied back “keep the change” as I thought he didn’t has Rs 12 and so I asked him to keep it. We stood up and left CCD and were abt to leave for home when she suddenly pointed me what waiter had said. And at that point of time face became so small as I had made fool of myself in front of a person I was trying to impress for past 2 hrs. but we both laughed it off heartily (and we still do laugh on that moment).

So we started commuting together to our insti daily. I used to enjoy her company a lot(though there were some hiccups from the other 2 girls). She used to bring loads of food which lead to messing up of my cars interiors. But the food used to be great. And slowly I got attached to her. Infact I got so much attracted to her that I started joining her for jogs in the evening as it gave me some more time to spend with her.

And one fine day I when we were returning from my institute, after dropping the other girls and just before her house, I stopped the car and popped the question out. This was my first time and I was total armature. I just told her what I felt for her and asked her whether she felt the same. But when I looked at her, she was totally surprised. So I started the car and drove to her house. She kept on asking me all the way that did I really meant what I said and I kept on replying yes. When she was getting off at her place I asked her not to get this thing affect our friendship. I left and when I was leaving I saw in the rear view mirror her face which was still surprised and shocked. In the evening there was a status update on her orkut which read “I am better off alone” and also a testi was awaiting me which was as follows :-

“Pulin aka our own Pullu's appeal lies in hs contradict'ns!!
he appears 2 b a regular casual guy!!
bt indeed he's one of d most understndng n a gr8 human being i hv evr cum across in ma lyf!!!
he's truly an ANGEL who carries a heart of GOLD!!!
i cn rely on hm 4 ny help @ ny hr of d day!!!
i cn tlk 2 hm abt ny n everythng under d sun n ds includes all d naughty stuff also!!
wnevr v guys r 2gthr dn toh v njoy lik hell!!
n ds's d reason dt none of us gets tired while commutng 4 3hrs daily 2 r insti!!!
he's sumbdy vd whom i cn maintain an extreme degree of transparency in r frndshp coz he's not @ al judemental abt nythng i tell hm!!
he'l undrstnd everythng u gonna say evn if he dsnt agrees vd u!!!
so i feel free 2 express maslf in front of hm!! 
n one thng i really adore n above all admire in hm is dt he's alwys CALM n COMPOSED, no matr wtevr d situat'n is!!
in short, m very much blessed 2 hv hm arund me!!
hp r frndshp vl surive till eternity.........
may u gt al d hapiness n sucess in ur lyf!!!”

And so I got my first rejection. For a while I was a bit dejected and I started to get away from her. But very soon I realized that it was me who had asked her not to let affect our friendship on such things and its me now who is letting it affect that bond. I realized that not everytime I can get what I want but everytime I can have what I am getting. And so I decided not to ever my personal feelings hamper any of the relations or friendship I was into.

We still are very good friends and we still enjoy with each other the same way as it was before the proposal. Recently a week back she told me that she is getting married real soon and ordered me to be there at her wedding without any excuses. And trust me, it didn’t hurt me b’coz I had forgotten the past and moved on. Infact I was so happy & excited hearing the news that I all passengers near me started staring at me(I was travelling in train).

So to all the people who say that they cant move on from their previous relationships or love, I would only say that think positive about everything that happened and forgive/forget the past. And enjoy what you are getting!!!